Tanya & Hua Loo Loo in Switzerland

來自 : http://www.lifescript.com/articles/6212.asp?page=5

Take it Slow ... am I in a rebound relationship ????

" As Frank Sinatra once sang, "Nice and easy does it. " The best thing to do with having a rebound relationship  -- and all -- relationships is take it slow at the beginning.  I know,   It's REALLY hard to do.  But if you take it slowly, you'll find out soon enough whether or not he wants to be in a long term relationship.

I haven't even left for my trip in July yet ,and here,  I have already made my travelling plan for this winter ... going to Bali with a friend in the winter ....  Busy busy Tanya ....  but so far ,  I have started doing things that I have always wanted ...  ever since my break up  ... Hooray!!  

Our Negative Culture 報憂不報喜的負面文化  ~ From ” How full is your bucket “

 
Most of us want more positive emotions in our lives.

Unfortunately, wanting a more positive environment isn’t enough. Most of us have grown up in a culture in which it’s much easier to tell people what they did wrong instead of praising them when they succeed. 

Sometimes I think that men are not good at giving compliments ...especially when we talk aout fashion .  This morning while I was busy picking something to wear in my closet ... I found a top ( actually I am wearing it today ) I bought last year ..and I had only worn it once ...why ? because my ex boyfriend said to me as soon as he saw this top  .. " you look like a pregnant woman "      so I never wore it again .....  

你用什麼樣的眼光看待孩子 孩子便將成為什麼樣的人

 The Pygmalion Effect - treat the child not the way he is, but the way you want him to be

the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she's treated

一位淑女及賣花女孩的差別 不是她的行為表現  而是她如何被對待 

11. Women who don’t like receiving oral sex 不喜歡接受口交的女人

Saw this in the magazine and a similar one in a book  I was reading yesterday .... quite amusing , but before Tanya typing it down ... (there is a lot to type .... going to take me some time , but quite busy today ) , 
So, my darling , men or women , as long as you are not under 18 ...   ,    why don't you take a guess what the top 20 turn-offs could be ??  They say women are picky but I think men could be more critical than women 

A friend I met recently told me her story about her relationship with her husband …..

 All I can say is … men are men , is not about cultural differences…. Here I share with you something I read recently , I don’t agree with everything it says here, but you can read it as reference.

 There is a point in a relationship where you want to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and do everything you can to be patient , and make him feel safe to go through his own process. And unfortunately, there is a point in some relationship where you need to admit to yourself that your partner just isn’t going to change , and no matter ho much you are willing to help, it’s not doing any good .

Have you ever had a problem , felt like you needed your man to comfort or love you ,and when you reached out for help, had him give you a lecture or advice instead ? (Tanya has had this painful experience , at that time I didn’t know what I wanted though but was fuming with rage ….and thinking why would a British guy like him be so self righteous and nagging  )

I got it from someone's blog ..think it's quite interesting  

男人經常將女人的多愁善感視為一種歇斯底里症 並且認定女人一但開始情緒化 便會沒完沒了

  男人並不了解女人內心對於情緒真正能忍受的程度

  男人不明白女人比他們更具有情緒性的彈性  也就是說 前一分鐘女人還在哭的死去活來 下一分鐘他們可能正準備與男人做愛  女人能夠原先還非常生氣 幾分鐘後就忘的一乾二淨 (Tanya的例子是除非是跟我道了歉 我就真的忘了 否則到現在還記得 )

  不過男人就比較困難 他們很難在短時間內從一種情緒迅速過度到另一種情緒 他們因此認定我們也做不到 (Tanya最近才被一位朋友說我是過度單純的認為情緒情感可以收放這麼快 ) 一但看到我們突然情緒非常壞 便會感到驚恐

  一 . 當你心情很壞時 應該告訴另一半妳真正的需要 ~

 當你覺得不舒服或是情緒很壞 需要和伴侶談一談 明白告訴他 你想他給你什麼    把話挑明講 自然可以減少誤會 

 譬如說 :你在公司跟同事鬧得不愉快 回到家很想傾吐一下你的不平  不妨這樣對伴侶說: 我覺得這個人很過分….但我只要你聽我說 安慰我 我不要任何忠告 我只想放鬆情緒 讓我覺得你真心愛我 >  這樣他就會知道該給你什麼  當他想幫助你時 便不會覺得受挫  妳也不至於對他大發脾氣  若不能解決妳的問題  他也不會因此認為自己是個失敗者 相反的 他會有成功的成就感 因為他給了你所要的 

你是不是曾經有過問題 覺得需要伴侶的撫慰 當你向他求助時 他卻長篇大論訊你一頓 ? ( Tanya有切身之痛 但是當時我並不知道我要的事什麼 只覺得怎麼會有一個英國人這麼會念的 愛說教 當場一把火燒起來 就不想講話了  )

  你有沒有嘗試過要求另一半分擔你的難過或憂慮  但他卻說你是杞人憂天 無聊透頂 ? (Tanya可能先殺了他若是他敢這樣跟我講 )

 身為女人 我們需要的是 ~

 安心保證

 安撫寬慰

 擁抱愛撫

 有人聽你說話

 安慰

 告訴你一切都沒問題 不用擔心

 
但我們得到的卻是 ~

 無情的告誡

 一連串的問題

 長篇大論的訓示

 被罵不可理喻

 或是愛鑽牛角尖

 女人要的是情愛  他男人卻跟你大談邏輯  我們希望受到母親般的呵護 他們卻像個嚴厲的父親  

假設你和你的伴侶再前往週末假期目的地的路上  到了該吃晚飯的時候 你的伴侶拿出導遊指南想在附近找家館子 你好心想幫他 於是說:<.></.>親愛的 書讓我看一一看 >  你的伴侶瞪了你一眼  然後說:為什麼要給你看 你不相信我嗎 ? > 

男人憎惡承認自己犯錯  Why do men hate to be wrong ?