Tanya & Hua Loo Loo in Switzerland

A friend I met recently told me her story about her relationship with her husband …..

 All I can say is … men are men , is not about cultural differences…. Here I share with you something I read recently , I don’t agree with everything it says here, but you can read it as reference.

 There is a point in a relationship where you want to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and do everything you can to be patient , and make him feel safe to go through his own process. And unfortunately, there is a point in some relationship where you need to admit to yourself that your partner just isn’t going to change , and no matter ho much you are willing to help, it’s not doing any good .

You can’t help a man when : 

You are doing more for him than he’s doing for himself 

He has a negative, hopeless attitude toward life (“ nothing ever works out for me, life is unfair” )

He always blames others for his problems and reuses to take responsibility for his situation. ( Tanya: I think most people are like this , not only men … )

He has destructive addictions he refuses to face and conquer: drugs, alcohol, food or gambling .

He has a chronic need to be in control and therefore creates constant power struggles with you over everything . 

He has a lot of guilt, blame, and low self-esteem due to unresolved incidents from his past.

He makes excuses for his behavior, claiming, “this is just the way I am “  He refuses to participate in seeking help for himself and the relationship, through counseling seminars , or reading books.

He tells you he doesn’t want to open up !