The Pygmalion Effect - treat the child not the way he is, but the way you want him to be
the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she's treated
一位淑女及賣花女孩的差別 不是她的行為表現 而是她如何被對待
你用什麼樣的眼光看待孩子 孩子便將成為什麼樣的人
A book that Tanya has read recently (well, I know that I have read a lot of books recently .... and they are all very different .... two about relationships ... two about animals ..... a few about SEX ... and other subjetcts....... now I am reading a book about child- rearing ..... God !! )
The book I read is called " How Full Is Your Bucket ? " talk about "positive Psychology" , I had been feeling really upset with my teaching work ... get angry very easily ... it'd happened long before I broke up with my ex boyfriend, you can ask him ... I lost my temper very quickly ...and get really depressed ....and unfortunately, I had a boyfriend who only reminded me that if I didn't work and I wouldn't have money for shopping .... and suggesting that I might have to see a doctor ...... 
then something happened last week which makes me realise that I might as well fins a way to improve the present situation rather than getting angry all the time ... so I read this book again .... and have been trying to apply this theory in this book .... and guess what , I have felt so much better ...and I feel happier when I teach , and don't get angry if one of the kids doesn't perform well in the class ..... which I usually would yell at them and got so upset for the rest of the day .... 這本書 叫做 你的桶子有多滿 討論正面心理學 對我的幫助很大 我曾經容易生氣失去耐心當我在上課時 在我跟男友分手前就常常這樣 常常發脾氣 學生今天表現不好 功課沒做好 我就會大吼大叫 搞的自己一整天心情都不好 偏偏又遇到一個只會用訓話方式的男友 告訴你若是不工作就會沒錢花沒錢買衣服 甚至還建議我去看醫生 總之 上星期的一件事讓我把這本書再看了 一次 決定既然我不能改變事實 那我就想辦法改變自己 開始試著將書中的理論用在我的工作上 發現我較少發脾氣 心情快樂多
The Theory of the dipper and the Bucket 桶與杓的理論
每個人都有一個無形的水桶 水桶裡的水不斷增減 端是別人如何對待我們 水桶滿時 我們會心情愉快
乾沽見底時則令人沮喪
Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled , depending on what others say or do to us. When our bucket is full , we feel great . When it is empty , we feel awful .
每個人也有個無形的杓子 當我們舀水到別人水桶裡時 – 已言行為別人增添正面情緒 -也會讓自己的水位高一點 ,
反之, 如果你用杓子去舀別人的水 – 也就是你的言行有損別人的正面情緒 – 自己桶子裡的水也會跟著減少
Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use that dipper to fill other people’s buckets - by saying or doing things to increase their positive emotions – we also fill our own buckets. But when we use that dipper to dip from others’ buckets- by saying or doing things that decrease their positive emotions- we diminish ourselves.
裝滿水的水桶就如同滿溢的福杯 讓人思想正面 充滿活力 水桶裡的每一滴水都會讓人更堅強 更樂觀
Like the cup that runneth over, a full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy . Every drop in that bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic.
Our lives are shaped by our interactions with others, whether we have a long conversation with a friend or simply place an order at a restaurant, every interaction makes a difference. 我們的生活深受人際互動的影響 不論是與朋友深談或只是在餐廳點個餐 每一次的互動都會留下印記
The result of our encounters are rarely neutral, they are almost always positive or negative. And though we take these interactions for granted, they accumulate and profoundly affect our lives .
而且人際互動鮮少是中性的 幾乎必然會造成正面或負面的結果 通常我們都會不以為意 但是事實上這些經驗會不斷累積 對生活產生深遠的影響
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