男人憎惡承認自己犯錯 Why do men hate to be wrong ?
他們討厭別人指正錯誤 They hate being told they are wrong
他們憎恨猜想自己可能已經做錯 They hate even to suspect that they might have been wrong
幾乎每個男人都不願在女人面前承認自己的錯誤 尤其是我們比他們先發現錯誤時 男人善於托辭 (Tanya舉雙手雙腳贊成 ) 覺得自己是被人陷害才會犯錯 或是認為要不是女人在他旁邊 他也不會做錯 (Tanya : Bullshit ! )
And most of all, they hate it when a woman knows that they are wrong before they know it themselves
Men feel like they are being "made wrong ", or told they did something wrong when you aren't telling them that at all. (Tanya couldn't agree with this more) They often think that someone or something has caused them to do something ..... (Tanya : BULLSHIT !)
男人經常誤解女人的建議和勸告 並且惡言相向做報復 當我們為他們建議不同方法時 男人會把他轉化成: “ 你很差勁 真是大錯特錯 簡直是笨的要死 “
Men often misinterpret your suggestions, advice, and feedback as attack and criticism ~
when a woman innocently offers her husband a suggestion for doing something differently, or gives him information she feels will be helpful, or asks for something she wants more of , he doesn't hear what she actually says. He hears: " you are bad. You are wrong . You made a mistake . You aren't good enough ."
像這種男人 我們女人實在是無言以對 女人為什麼會活得這麼辛苦 就是因為我們必須隨時提高警覺 注意他們說話的意思 才不會雞同鴨講
Isn't it frustrating to make a comment to the man you love and have him react defensively with anger as if you have said something awful ? this is what causes women to feel they have to tiptoe around the men they love, to " watch what they say "
為什麼男人會覺得自己永遠是對的
男人通常不會仔細聽女人的建議或評論的細節 一但認定女人在批評自己後 他們的情緒和意氣變凌駕理智 變的不可理喻
Why men feel they always have to be right~
Men equate their self-esteem with accomplishment
So when a woman appears to challenge a man's ability to do anything perfectly, he reacts defensively . He interprets her feedback as if she is saying " you did it wrong ." After initially determining that she doesn't think he is doing something perfectly , his emotional reflexes take over, and he switches into " defensive mode" She's waiting for a polite response: he is feeling attacked and made wrong .
為什麼女人不在乎犯錯 ?
Why women don't mind making mistakes ?
因為我們想:” 做錯事是什麼大不了的事嗎? 孰能無過 ? 我若有錯 決不介意接受別人的忠告.” 當女人犯錯時 我們會想 “好吧 既然錯了 我怎可以忍受讓他一直錯下去 我該如何改進 ?”
做錯事誠然不好受 接受他人的批評更需要勇氣 知過能改 善莫大焉 我們總是盡力在改進自己
Because we think : " What is the big deal about making mistakes ? Everyone makes mistakes . I make mistakes, but I don't mind suggestions or advice . " When a woman makes mistakes , she thinks " okay , snow how can I fix it ? How can I make it better ? "
we may feel badly about it ; we may feel upset that we received negative feedback; but we will usually work on improving ourselves as soon as possible "
所以為什麼有那麼多婦女參與提升 改進自己的活動 例如讀兩性關係類的書籍 尋求婚姻諮商 參與研討會等 有一個最重要的原因 就是女人不願以錯誤自現 我們是完美主義者 反過來看男人 他們就沒這種雅量 ( 他們就只會跟幾個可能他們自己生活也搞不定的朋友 喝酒聊天說一堆自欺欺人的大道理後 就以為自己已經有所領悟 )
This is one reason that many women become so involved with self-improvement activities, such as reading books like this , going to counseling, attending seminars. And of course, the reverse is true as well.
A man often feels that to read a self-help book or go to counseling is the same as admitting that he isn't doing something right, and therefore,is bad . ~ ( I get this feeling from my ex boyfriend , too I think for him , the solution is to talk to some freiends who probably have very screwed up lives over a few drinks and talk talk talk ...... then think themselves have figured everything out )
Tanya : I think this book is not to tell you to criticise men .... well, sometimes can't help myself to bitch a little , but still it helps to remind me that why a man behaves like this , or what they might think .... learning to understand a man , learning to accept , and learning to love ..... learning to give compliments ..... which I have been trying to apply it to my work , my students ...... I do feel better and better .... well, still a lot to learn though .
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