A friend I met recently told me her story about her relationship with her husband …..

 All I can say is … men are men , is not about cultural differences…. Here I share with you something I read recently , I don’t agree with everything it says here, but you can read it as reference.

 There is a point in a relationship where you want to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and do everything you can to be patient , and make him feel safe to go through his own process. And unfortunately, there is a point in some relationship where you need to admit to yourself that your partner just isn’t going to change , and no matter ho much you are willing to help, it’s not doing any good .

 

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NEVER
 SAW BLUE LIKE THAT

 

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We went to the cinema that I usually go to last night , but the tickets for the 7:40 show were sold out  ....wow ....  So we decided to go to other cinema to try our luck .... so we went to Miramar , in Nei Hu ...... and guess what ?  we couldn't get tickets for the earlier show either ...so we bought the tickets for a 10:40 show, and by the time we finished the movie, it was 1:20  already ..... almost 3 hours long ... but  didn't feel that it was that long , I enjoyed it a lot ... not sure about my friend , Roy though ...as he thinks that this movie descrate Christian.  Humm.....   So we decided to see this movie just like any other Hollywood movies ??  and not to think too much about it ....  well, a movie is always a movie ....  for Tanya herself . But anyway ,  I like Tom Hanks and I think the story is fascinating ....  

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Have you ever had a problem , felt like you needed your man to comfort or love you ,and when you reached out for help, had him give you a lecture or advice instead ? (Tanya has had this painful experience , at that time I didn’t know what I wanted though but was fuming with rage ….and thinking why would a British guy like him be so self righteous and nagging  )

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I got it from someone's blog ..think it's quite interesting  

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妳是屬於草香形象       http://hk.geocities.com/hataryuhk/game.htm

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男人經常將女人的多愁善感視為一種歇斯底里症 並且認定女人一但開始情緒化 便會沒完沒了

  男人並不了解女人內心對於情緒真正能忍受的程度

  男人不明白女人比他們更具有情緒性的彈性  也就是說 前一分鐘女人還在哭的死去活來 下一分鐘他們可能正準備與男人做愛  女人能夠原先還非常生氣 幾分鐘後就忘的一乾二淨 (Tanya的例子是除非是跟我道了歉 我就真的忘了 否則到現在還記得 )

  不過男人就比較困難 他們很難在短時間內從一種情緒迅速過度到另一種情緒 他們因此認定我們也做不到 (Tanya最近才被一位朋友說我是過度單純的認為情緒情感可以收放這麼快 ) 一但看到我們突然情緒非常壞 便會感到驚恐

   . 當你心情很壞時 應該告訴另一半妳真正的需要 ~

 當你覺得不舒服或是情緒很壞 需要和伴侶談一談 明白告訴他 你想他給你什麼    把話挑明講 自然可以減少誤會 

 譬如說 :你在公司跟同事鬧得不愉快 回到家很想傾吐一下你的不平  不妨這樣對伴侶說: 我覺得這個人很過分….但我只要你聽我說 安慰我 我不要任何忠告 我只想放鬆情緒 讓我覺得你真心愛我 >  這樣他就會知道該給你什麼  當他想幫助你時 便不會覺得受挫  妳也不至於對他大發脾氣  若不能解決妳的問題  他也不會因此認為自己是個失敗者 相反的 他會有成功的成就感 因為他給了你所要的 

 

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你是不是曾經有過問題 覺得需要伴侶的撫慰 當你向他求助 他卻長篇大論訊你一頓 ? ( Tanya有切身之痛 但是當時我並不知道我要的事什麼 只覺得怎麼會有一個英國人這麼會念的 愛說教 當場一把火燒起來 就不想講話了  )

  你有沒有嘗試過要求另一半分擔你的難過或憂慮  但他卻說你是杞人憂天 無聊透頂 ? (Tanya可能先殺了他若是他敢這樣跟我講 )

 身為女人 我們需要的是 ~

 安心保證

 安撫寬慰

 擁抱愛撫

 有人聽你說話

 安慰

 告訴你一切都沒問題 不用擔心

 
但我們得到的卻是 ~

 無情的告誡

 一連串的問題

 長篇大論的訓示

 被罵不可理喻

 或是愛鑽牛角尖

 女人要的是情愛  他男人卻跟你大談邏輯  我們希望受到母親般的呵護 他們卻像個嚴厲的父親  

  

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