After a speech at a fast food restaurant chain's national meeting an employee told me how she used to always get furious and lash out when somebody tried to give her criticism. However, one time when someone started to criticize her, she took a deep breath and for the first time in her life, held her tongue and listened. And, according to her, she really learned some constructive things that changed her life.
What did this employee do? She did what most of us need to do more often¾bite our tongues and listen. Too many people are so intent on being right, justifying, getting defensive, and trying to prove how interesting they are, that they never hear anyone else's opinion.
Most people love to learn, but they hate to be taught. You see, teaching includes criticism, and most people can't stand to be criticized. How about you? Do you dislike being criticized? If so, look at it this way¾being criticized gives you the information you need in order to self-correct. If you can't take criticism, how are you going to make things better? How are you going to learn? How are you going to grow? Here's a rule you can use for the rest of your life: Make it 100 percent okay to receive criticism.
Think of criticism as music to your ears. When some people hear it, they get moody. They get upset. Don't be so thin-skinned.
Criticism doesn’t mean that the critic is right. However, just take the time to listen and consider, Hey, maybe I can make a little adjustment here, a little tuck there. Maybe I can set some higher goals for myself. Test it. We need the criticism. We need the input. Knowledge is power, and the way to get knowledge is feedback. Criticism is feedback.
Think of it this way. If you looked in the mirror this morning, you got feedback. Why do we do this? We need feedback in order to assure ourselves that we are on course. That's what criticism is. You may have stepped on the scale this morning to weigh yourself. After checking your scale's criticism, you might not go on an instant diet, but you might take a moment to consider cutting back on your next meal. Therefore, not only are you accepting criticism, but you are also making changes. And change is what life is all about. To grow, improve, and succeed in life you must receive criticism. ◎黑幼龍/文 記得多年前與國外來的一位主管一起去拜訪顧客。我們剛坐下不久，我就迫不及待向這位顧客說明我們的產品的性能，還有我們能提供的服務，不但講得頭頭是道，如數家珍，而且還做了不少比喻。當時真的頗為得意。回到自己的辦公室後，我的主管說：「你在不在意我給你一點回饋？」(Do you mind I give you some feedbacks?) 我立即回答說，當然可以。 於是他就告訴我，在與顧客談話的時候，應該先探索顧客的需求。最好的方法就是問問題。因為一般而言，人喜歡自己買，不喜歡被推銷。換句話說，我們要做的是幫顧客買，因而不需要忙著推銷自己的產品。當時聽了後，印象頗為深刻。但迄今對那次談話最難忘的，還是他開始講的那句話：我可以給你一點回饋嗎？ 傷害自尊 你看，簡單的一句話，竟將「批評」轉變為「分享」了！人人都不喜歡批評。批評會引起反感，甚至迫使人為自己辯護。當你批評一位業務員上個月的業績太差了。他立即的反應就是最近經濟不景氣，或最近廣告選錯了媒體，所以效果不佳。他甚至會反駁，別的業務員上個月的業績也好不到哪裡去。卡內基更將「不批評」列為人際關係的第一條原則。他認為批評他人相當危險。因為你可能會傷到那個人的自尊，人在尊嚴受到傷害的時候，很難會與你由衷的合作。而在今天這個工商業的時代，全心的團隊合作是多麼不可或缺。 真誠分享心得 然而，做主管、做朋友（特別是好朋友），必須幫助他學習、進步，該怎麼辦呢？首先，我們要在說明之前，真誠的問對方：「你不在意我跟你談一下我的心得吧！」即使是最好的朋友，即使是老同事，即使是夫妻，我覺得在提出批評之前，都要先說類似這樣的話。不但要說，語氣還要溫和。千萬不要不耐煩，或一語帶過。接著，在批評的時候，對方做得好的部分也要提到。真心讚賞對方的優點或好的表現之後，他會更樂於接受你的指導。想想也真是的，優點絕不該因過錯或缺點而受抹殺。你要指正他，就該讚美他的優點，這樣他才會進步，才會成長。 我們的一生都需不斷地成長。孩童階段、青少年階段?B成人階段都應該成長。無論是在家庭，或工作中，或在社會中，但願我們能一直不斷進步。然而有的人成長得很快；有的人進步緩慢；另有些人根本停滯不前。好主管、好父母，不但自己一直在進步，還能幫助周遭的人突飛猛進。關鍵在於他們必須學會做正確的指導。 引言 －－美國總統 林肯（Abraham Lincoln）
將「批評」轉變為「分享」
好主管、好父母，不但自己一直在進步，還能幫助周遭的人突飛猛進。關鍵在於他們必須學會做正確的指導。」
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